Standard Roach Letter

by Bob Setzer, Jr.
Warning: Do not read the following column while consuming your dinner salad.

When a prepackaged airline lunch was served on an international flight, a passenger opened her salad container and discovered a cockroach. Her yelp of disgust and outrage brought the head stewardess running who did her best to calm the passenger and contain the damage.

Immediately upon arriving home, the still fuming passenger fired off an angry letter to the President of the airline. In very short order, she received a reply by special courier rather than regular mail.

The President of the airline was most remorseful and responsive. His letter read, “Dear Ms. Smith, This was very unusual, but don't worry. I want to assure you that particular plane has been completely fumigated. In fact all the seats and the upholstery have been stripped out. We've taken disciplinary action against the steward who served you and he may even be fired. It's highly probable that this aircraft will be taken out of service. I can assure you that it will never happen again. And I trust, Ms. Smith, that you will continue to fly with our airline.”

Just as Ms. Smith was feeling somewhat vindicated, she noticed her original letter had inadvertently been enclosed with the President’s response. On the back of her letter was scrawled his note: “Please reply with the standard roach letter”!

I’m guessing she did not fly with that airline again.

In a world where computers spit out “form letters” pretending to be personal, a truly personal letter is an increasingly rare treasure. From time-to-time I hope you receive such a letter. From time-to-time I hope you write such a letter.

Write a card or note of encouragement to friend going through a hard time. Write a letter of thanks to a beloved teacher from your childhood. Write a thoughtful personal letter to your Congressional Representative. Write a family member a special letter celebrating his or her birthday. Write a letter to God and tuck it in the back of your Bible. In a world of relentless yet fleeting email, a personal letter--especially one that is hand-written--conveys a depth of caring and substance cyber-communications lack.

Fully 20 of the 27 books of the New Testament consist of personal letters. Granted, those letters are written to people in another place and time, but the pastoral concern and spiritual passion of the writers yet bleed through the pages. And in the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, breathing upon those old, old words, they can yet become God’s very personal word to You, second personal singular (Luke 24:32; John 14:26).

Surely it is no accident God sent his Son into the world--and the New Testament witness was penned--long before email put personal letters on the endangered species list.